Today I'm a hundred and seven years old and never felt so alive. I sleep late, drink much and never take guff. Even the devil must envy my soul. This morning, an annoying young squirrel by my side was chattering, pestering me. I grabbed him up and swallowed him whole.

When anyone dare ask my name or my pride, I give them a show they have earned. I charge and I roar and I fill them with fear. They never bother me twice. The tale of my life fills many a book for scholars and students and more. So, I keep to myself in the dark of my cave and quietly watch legends grow.

If anyone asks, you may say you have heard of a man in a cave who can roar. Be warned, beware, be afraid as you pass and shiver as you walk down my lane. For I do as I say and I say as I will. Tip your hat, bow your head and never slow as you pass by the cave of the man who can roar and who never felt so alive.